The Spiritual Charge Underneath Your Sex Drive
During my Tantra training, the first time I was asked to just breathe into arousal instead of chasing it toward release, I didn't get it. I'd spent my whole life treating sexual energy like a light switch, off, then on, then handled, done. Sitting there in that Arizona training room, breathing instead of reaching for a finish line, I felt something I genuinely wasn't prepared for. The charge didn't go away. It moved. Up through my chest, into places that had nothing to do with sex at all. That was my real introduction to something Tantra has known for a very long time: what we call sexual energy was never only physical.
Most of us learned the opposite. Desire shows up, you act on it or you don't, either way it's handled and filed away. But every tradition I've trained in treats that energy as something with more range than that, a current running through you that sex is only one channel for.
In the Hindu tradition, that current has a name: Shakti, the creative force said to move through the body, often described as coiled at the base of the spine before it rises. Taoist practice calls it Qi, a life force you can actually work with directly, through breath, through movement, through practices like Qi Gong that train you to feel it and direct it on purpose instead of just being swept along by it.
I don't teach any of this as belief. You don't have to buy into a cosmology to notice that the same aliveness that shows up during sex also shows up, in a smaller key, when you're fully absorbed in something you love. That's not a coincidence. It's the same current, just running through a different channel.
A few ways I actually work with this in sessions and in my own practice:
Breath first. Before anything else, arousal responds to breath. Slow, full breathing while you notice the sensation, rather than rushing past it, is often the whole practice.
Tantra proper. This is the deep end, breathwork, meditation, sometimes touch, all aimed at staying present with the energy rather than discharging it as fast as possible. It's demanding work, and it's also the work I've built the most of my own training around.
Make something. Sexual energy channeled into a painting, a piece of writing, a hard workout, doesn't disappear, it just changes shape. Some of my most creatively alive periods have shown up right alongside the most sexually alive ones. That's not an accident either.
Move your body. Yoga, martial arts, anything that asks you to actually inhabit your body rather than just occupy it, tends to open the same doorway.
None of this comes with a script. What works for one guy leaves another cold, and that's fine, this isn't a technique you master once and file away, it's a relationship you keep building with your own body.
This is core to the Eros work I do at Verosoul, reconnecting men to a part of themselves a lot of us were taught to either overindulge or shut down entirely, with nothing healthy in between. There's a third option. It's just quieter, and it takes actually showing up for your own body to find it.
A note before you go exploring any of this on your own: this is coaching, not therapy or medical treatment, and if you're navigating trauma or a mental health condition alongside your sexuality, please loop in a licensed professional as part of the work, not instead of it.
References
Dispenza, J. The Science of Sexual Energy. https://drjoedispenza.com/blogs/health/the-science-of-sexual-energy
Brockway, L. S. Sacred Sexuality: Understanding the Spiritual Potential of Sex. HuffPost. https://www.huffpost.com/entry/sacred-sexuality-understa_b_1362736
Muir, C. & Muir, C. Tantra: The Art of Conscious Loving. https://www.tantra.com/books/tantra-the-art-of-conscious-loving/
Fraser, C. Sex and Spirituality: What's the Connection? Psychology Today. https://www.psychologytoday.com/ca/blog/hebephoilia/201707/sex-and-spirituality-whats-the-connection
Yeshe, L. The Power of Sexual Energy. https://www.lamayeshe.com/article/power-sexual-energy
