Eros: Relationships & energy
Needs, Fears, Desires, and Boundaries
Get honest about what you need, want, won't compromise on, and fear.
In a relationship, that means naming things clearly enough to work with them directly, together, rather than leaving them vague. There's no right number of items on any list. Some lists will be longer than others. This is a starting point that you can discuss further with Matt.
Once you've filled this out, we'll use it to build a path forward: which need to address first, which fear to confront, which boundary to hold, and which desire to bring into the open.
Needs
- What do you need in a relationship?
- What do you require?
- What is a non-negotiable requirement?
- What happens if this need goes unmet?
Fears
- What scares you in a relationship?
- What makes you nervous, or freaks you out?
- When do you feel unsafe, or unsure?
Desires
- What do you want in a relationship?
- What gets you excited? Turns you on?
- What do you want more of that is not sexual, like time together, affection, or deeper conversation?
- What are the nice to haves?
Boundaries
- What are your boundaries in a relationship?
- Where does yes become no?
- What is a non-negotiable no-go zone?
What is your focus right now?
Fill this in after you've worked through the four lists above. Come back and update it any time your focus shifts.
Anything else you noticed?
Use "Save as a text file" to keep a copy, and share it with Matt however's easiest, by email, Voxer, or in your next session. Nothing here is stored automatically.
A note as you work through this: this work is coaching, not therapy. If this practice brings up more than you expected, please reach out. In the US or Canada, call or text 988 anytime, or search "crisis hotline near me" to find local support wherever you are. You don't have to carry this alone.
